At my wits end...

I am not sure what to do! I have taken many early childhood education classes and have attended many trainings on how to deal with difficult behaviors, but this child broke the mold. I need help figuring out how to get through to this child.

Said child is two and a half, and the only form of communication this child has is crying and whining! Whenever said child doesn't get what he/she wants, said child throws one major tantrum; hitting, kicking, throwing up, spitting in people's faces, the works. I know I did say they were two, but this goes beyond the "terrible twos" phase! Usually, I just say, "I know your upset because you didn't get ... and that is okay. Maybe you can have that later!" That just sets this child off more; then I become the target for the hitting and the like!

A couple of days ago, I sang the clean up song so we could have lunch. This child looked me in my face and told me "NO!" I reminded the child that we clean up everyday before lunch and that the others needed help putting the toys away! The child told me "NO!" again! I then "assigned" jobs...you pick up all the cars; you pick up all the babies; you pick up all the dress-up clothes; and so on! Everybody did their "assignment"(even the two 18 month olds), and said child did not. I told him/her, "You can not come to the table and eat until all of the cars are put away!" The child looked at me, screamed and laid on the floor. The other kids were done with lunch, had been cleaned up, and were laying on their beds, before the cars had been cleaned up!

I just don't know what to do anymore! I am at my wits end with this child. I have talked to this child's parent, but they just keep making excuse after excuse, and I am tired of hearing it! I know how hard it is to hear that your child is not doing what they are supposed to, but work with the person to help fix it!